No one reads this shit, or if they intended to I wouldn't recommend it. I need some serious ventilation.
On week three of birth control now. The whole point of taking it in the first place, was to get rid of that awful two weeks before period time where I'm not a person. I can't be out for the count half the fucking time! What no one told me, is that the adjustment period (or maybe even the whole experience, idk what to think anymore) is basically some odd weeks of my body thinking its pregnant!! Because what I REALLY need in my life right now sore ovaries, two huge pain targets on my chest, and THE COMPLETE INABILITY TO THINK RATIONAL THOUGHTS!!! Jegus!
I pride myself on being an extremely rational person! I'm intelligent and a woman so I can see things from just about every angle! Now all of a sudden I'm this fucking hormonal mental patient! Then Michelle felt we needed to finish watching Fahrenheit 9/11, because that's a happy go lucky didn't actually happen to real people kind of film (heavy sarcasm, fyi.)
I'm spending a lot of time with her, because she's wonderful and brought me Oreos and chocolate ice cream when I was really down on New Years and just the best friend you could ask for C': So we're heading to bed, watching Little Britain when I request a bedtime bowl. She packed quite a few, and who am I to decline when I love it so? Finally I'm just... so far gone. Baked like a Christmas ham. And ridiculously tired because we didn't get a whole lot of sleep, then had to go help her mom at the shop. So just, that horrible body ache kind of tired that makes everything... stop making sense. I'm all snuggled in, about to finally fall asleep...
When my horrible father calls! Oh golly gee willikers!
And basically threatens to kill my rabbits, because of the allergens that he nor anyone else in my house has to deal with. He could easily send the eleven year old with no allergies to feed the animals he adores, but of course, he's a martyr. Mostly because I might reward his 'good deeds' with patricide. If I didn't care about my future, obv.
I just... can't do it anymore. I can't fix my mother, I can't fix my father, I can't make them be real parents, let alone real people, I can't.
So this year's resolution is more than a resolution, it is simply what is going to happen, because I won't stop until it does.
I need out.
I need to get far away from these people and start living my own life.
Which is pretty impossible considering the rate at which buisnesses are hiring twenty-somethings with no experience and a GED.
But at this point I'll do anything to make it work.
Now if only I could get past the religious man in our attic to uncover my old Pokemon cards... That Charizard may as well be a nest egg.
Lets make this shit work
where doing it man
where MAKING tHIS HAPEN